Lessons from Surah Tahrim tafsir, Nouman Ali Khan
He spoke about many things in just the first three ayaat so I’m just going to mention one:
He mentioned that the previous surah (at-Talaq) talks about when love dies between a husband and wife and it causes problems, and in contrast this surah begins with the mention of when there’s so much love between husband and wife that it causes problems, so much so it compromises teachings of deen and justice.
He describes two background incidents to the first few ayaat—one of which was when a wife of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallim brought some special kind of honey and he liked it and maybe spent a little bit more time with her, and another wife got jealous and so when he visited her, she expressed displeasure at the scent that the honey had left. So the Prophet alayhis sallim decided he would never eat the honey again, not because honey was made haraam but just out of an expression of love for his spouse.
However the Prophet alayhis sallim wasn’t like us, his example was under a microscope because everyone would follow things based on what he did, so he had to be very careful, and so Allah revealed an ayah asking why are you making things unlawful to please your spouses? This of course must have really terrified the Prophet alayhis sallim, and so Allah immediately ends the ayah with Wallahu Ghafurur-Rahim, Allah is Ever Forgiving and Merciful, that its okay, Allah is just making a comment, He’s Forgiving.
The interesting point he made though was that often at marriages a verse is quoted from the Quran saying how “…among His miraculous signs…Allah has placed love and mercy between spouses” and that’s true and beautiful, however a “sign” is not an end—it’s a means to an end. The same way a sign on the road is not your destination, it’s a means to getting to your destination. Ayaat are never ever the goal. Love between husband and wife is placed as an ayah and that means it’s supposed to be utilized in a healthy way to reach a higher goal. Love itself is not the goal—it’s a mechanism through which higher things can be accomplished.
Hopefully this doesn’t sound like love between spouses is being thrashed. He was saying it so beautifully, and I unfortunately can’t be as eloquent, but the lesson was that we are created for a very high purpose and love and mercy between spouses is one of the things that helps us get to our goal, but its not the the whole goal itself. The lesson for us is to not put unnatural restrictions on ourselves for the sake of saving a relationship, especially things we won’t be able to maintain.
Wallahu ta’ala ‘alam